diff --git a/articles/emacs.md b/articles/emacs.md
index f2941bf..7f385e0 100644
--- a/articles/emacs.md
+++ b/articles/emacs.md
@@ -1,10 +1,48 @@
 # Emacs
-Emacs (standing for *Escape Meta Alt Control Shift* or *Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping*) is a [bloated](bloat.md)
-text editor that got overextended into some kind of [operating system](operating_system.md).
+*This article is part of the humor series*
 
-Even Emacs users themselves acknowledge that vi-style bindings are superior.
+Emacs is a [bloated](bloat.md) text editor that got overextended into some kind
+of [operating system](operating_system.md) (half-assed of course).
 
-**IMPORTANT**: to escape from Emacs, use `Ctrl-x Ctrl-c` (hold Control, press x, press c, release Control).
+Even some Emacs users themselves reluctantly acknowledge that vi-style bindings are superior. Indeed, vi bindings
+don't cause RSI (repetitive strain injury). While a vi user may remap Escape to Caps Lock for
+convenience, an Emacs user must remap Control to Caps Lock out of necessity, to save his tendons.
+
+Part of why Emacs is so slow is because it is mostly built on its own language (with a "small" [C](c.md) core),
+Emacs Lisp; some bad ripoff of [Common Lisp](common_lisp.md)
+(because RMS didn't like Common Lisp for who knows why).
+This also contributed to its historically high memory usage; is not that it decreased, is just that
+computers now have more memory.
+
+Notoriously, Emacs can't handle big files. This is because it loads it entirely on memory LMAO. Even
+Electron-based VS Code don't have this problem.
+
+**IMPORTANT PSA**: to escape from Emacs, use `Ctrl-x Ctrl-c` (hold Control, press x, press c, release Control).
+If that doesn't work, open a new terminal because this bastard clobbers Ctrl-Z (so job control
+won't work) and run this command: `pkill -9 emacs`. Run that command again to be sure. Run it
+three more times if you want to rest well at night.
+If you used the "Emacs" way to exit, your tendons may hurt now, so do some stretching exercises.
+
+vi does [one thing and does it well](unix_philosophy.md); edit text. But Emacs does everything, in the worst possible way.
+
+## What does Emacs stand for
+- *Escape Meta Alt Control Shift*
+- *Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping* 
+- *Emacs Makes Any Computer Slow*
+- *Editor MACroS* (disputed)
+- ...
+
+vi: `<Esc>:wq`, Emacs: `Ctrl-Meta-x Ctrl-Alt file-actions Alt-Ctrl save-file-in-current-directory-with-current-name-and-exit-please-emacs-let-me-exit`.
+
+## The cult of Emacs
+Never attempt to engage in debate with an Emacs user. They swear that:
+1. RSI is not real
+2. Emacs key chord soup and 80> command names are fine and superior to vi
+3. Elisp is not slower than [Python](python.md) by a factor of 4
+4. Anyone that doesn't use Emacs is an ignorant that is too stupid to "understand" the "Emacs" way.
+5. They don't suffer from a severe case of learned helplessness
+6. "org-mode" is different from just writing plain Markdown and piping the buffer into a converter
+7. Having a startup time of >=1s is fine
 
 TODO roast more